In celebration of the completion of my own cheesy romance story, I hereby declare a book giveaway.
Stop the snickering, I hear you.
"Hee hee. Liz reads Danielle Steel."
Fine. Yes. I confess. I read Danielle Steel (and other various romance novels) on occasion. Usually in the summertime because it reminds me of simple days spent at the library and city pool. Days when I thought I might 'learn something' from these kinds of books. As it turns out, that was a false notion. Over the years, I've discovered many misleading facts in these books. For example:
1. In real life having a "fire in your loins" means you should see a doctor. Not go on a date.
2. There is no such thing as "heaving passion." There is heaving and then there is passion. One involves throwing up and the other better involve a ring. Either way... they don't go together.
3. Men with bulging biceps rarely, if ever, lay by the fire and read Emily Bronte. I'm just saying.
4. In the real world, when a woman encounters a strange man and he 'stares deep within her
soul', she should run. Soul staring = creepy stalker.
5. Men can heap all the compliments they want on a woman... it does not make them more attractive. For example; when the 70 year old checkout man at Walgreen's tells me I "don't look a day over 18" I do not for one second believe him. I do not think he's cute. I believe he may have cataracts. I also believe he's probably a dirty old man.
But as unrealistic as these books may be, they still have the ability to transport us into a glitzy, romantic, unrealistic world far away from our own crowded desks and unvaccumed houses. I suppose that's what keeps the romance industry (not to mention the Lifetime movie network) booming.
And so, if you would like to be the recipient of Miss Steel's newest pool-side read, leave a comment. Tell me what your favorite/shameful summer pool book is. I'll draw the winner on Monday.
55 comments:
I love all Nicholas Sparks books. But my current read is THE HELP by Kathryn Stockett.
To be honest, I've never read a Danielle Steel book, but I do remember my grandmother reading them years ago! How funny is that?!?!
Thanks for the chance to see what all the hype is about! LOL!
Deanna
deanna(DOT)franks(AT)bxs(DOT)com
Oh, Danielle and I have a long-standing friendship. When I had long days in waiting rooms at the Mayo clinic I would literally read an entire book each day.
So funny, I'm writing a post on Monday about how I have such low standards for an English major. :)
If I'm not reading this/Nicholas Sparks type stuff, then I LOVE a good Patricia Cornwell forensic thriller.
I haven't read a Danielle Steel book in years, but I will definitely pick one up the next time I find one for .25 at the thrift store. They do make for good escapes. :)
My favorite poolside reading material is usually something in the "chick lit" genre - I loved Little Earthquakes. It's not exactly Dickens, but it's fun!
Becky aka StinkyLemsky
Your list of insights about romance novels was hysterical. I really enjoyed them.
I have not read a Danielle Steele in years but I used to read them all the time. I need to read more fun stuff and less deep, dark professional stuff (I work in a juvenile jail).
I read two Danielle Steele books and they were both about married women cheating on their husbands. I was so disturbed that I've never read her again. Nor will I.
I do, however, love Nora Roberts. :)
I confess that I read the same books over and over without ever being truly brave enough to try something new. And I teach English literature for a living, so one would think I'd lead by example into the foray of new books...but I don't. ;)
Confession: I've never read a Danielle Steele book. I know, who am I??
But I have seen some of the movies based on books and loved them.
Summer reading = chick lit!!!
Teehee, this post cracked me up!
Hmm, I guess my guilty pleasures are Nora Roberts romance novels. Anyone who hasn't read her book Honest Illusions is missing out!
My favorite DS cliche is that her heroines NEVER REALIZE THAT THEY ARE PREGNANT. Even if they've been trying for year. It's ridiculous.
I don't think I've ever read a book by Danielle Steel, but I've seen the movies...on Lifetime, Television for Women (I always like to add their tagline - it makes me laugh).
As a teen I was a Judy Blume fan. Does that count?
This cracked me up! Especially #1 about the "fire in your loins." My husband likes to joke about this particular line all the time. But, hey, I'm always up for new reading to pass the time!
Great post! Yes, the cheesy romance novels remind me also of the lazy days of summer before the real world hit (ie: work). I read every DS book back then along with LaVyrle Spencer. Ahh..the good 'ole days.
~angela @ peonypatch
First, I just have to say thank you for the snorting laughter you provided to me this morning. Second, I've read some Danielle Steel. I also enjoy Nora Roberts.
I must confess, I am laughing at this giveaway! As I teenager I also devoured books by Nora Roberts. Oh how I love the MacGregors series. Definitely summer reading!
I don't think I've ever read DS either however I started reading VC Andrews books when I was 11.
Talk about trashy!!
This post is so spot-on with many of my teenage summers. Danielle and I were like BFFs (ha!).
Thought I can't remember the title of the book, I found this great supermarket-checkout-lane-"novel" about some urban cowboy in hot and dusty Dallas, Texas. It was terrible. The writing would have made you cry in pain. But I consumed all its trashy words in one pool sitting that day. Ahhh, summer books.
For a great chuckle I love to read Jill Connor Browne (Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love, etc), but there is nothing like losing myself in Nicolas Sparks' or Nora Robert's novels
Ha! What a great read...your list, that is!!! Made me laugh out loud. I don't really care if I win your book, I read every one of her books twenty years ago...nowadays if I attempt to read her, I usually end up throwing the book across the room. Anyway...what I mean is...reading your list was tremendously entertaining!!!
I haven't read more than a couple of Danielle Steel's books, but this entry describes them perfectly.
I would read the book if I won it.
LOL... way to come out of the closet. There is a reason that romance novels are some of the most popular books.
Let's see, my all time favorite romance writer is Nora Roberts.
In lazy summers past, I read Kathleen Woodiwiss, I love the history and indepth plots.
I read these now & then, and like you said, get transported away for a while. It never hurts to escape reality on occasion.
Liz - I have probably confessed before that I am not a book reader - short stories, magazines, poetry, local newspapers...they are what keep me somewhat informed and creatively filled.
So...I don't have an answer to your posed question. But, I will tell you that in July my son and I are attending a conference in Arizona (never been there before and I hear it is going to be SCORCHINGLY hot!) and I plan on spending all of my "down" time next to the pool...
and just let me say that a good romance book might come in handy for a middle aged single Mom like me.
no bikini will my body see
Right now my favorite book is "Under the Tuscan Sun." I am reading it as we speak (type) and loving it. I have seen the movie several times, visited the town in Italy where she lives, and now am enjoying the book this summer. I too am a fan of Danielle Steel books - anything that "takes me away" from my everyday life!
Have a great day!
Rochelle
Thanks for the reality check. I haven't read a DS book is years-may be good for me.
I don't want the book though I do enjoy a good novel, especially historical. BUT you have such a gift in humor! You could be the next Erma Bombeck.
Ooooooohhhh! Liz, I'm going on vacation in ten days - I'd sure love to have a new book to read as I sat in a lounge chair on the grassy lakshore! Becky G.
OH - definitely the Shopaholic series!! :)
Love you, love the blog, can't wait to read your novel, but have never touched a Danielle Steel book in my life, and pretty sure that will stick! ;)
I love this list. But I must confess I've never been into the romance genre. Hmmm- maybe I am missing out!
I found your blog through Style Sisters: Tablescape. I saw your title about Danielle Steele and I clicked on your blog. I love her books...all of them. Just for fun of course...I totally agree with your comments on romance novels flowery take on romance! LOL! Count me in your giveaway!
I've been a romance novel junkie since I was in 6th grade. :) I've been reading a few by Elaine Fox that I picked up recently at a flea market.
I'm crying cause I'm laughing so hard at your descriptions! So true this day & age. I haven't read one of these books in years, when I too was trying to "learn".
Thanks for pointing out these facts, I'll never be able to read the same again-w/o thinking of your definitions! Love your blog!
vellis63@gmail.com
I used to love Danielle Steel. I haven't picked up one of her books in a very very long time. No particular reason why, just fell in love with Nicholas Sparks.
Loved your insight into the romance language!
I, too, read Danielle Steel. And love them.
My husband proposed to me with Charlotte Bronte's words, as Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre. Just saying. :)
I love British chick lit the best...for summer reading, I mean.
Okay, Liz, I have to admit I have never read Danielle Steel. But, if she is good enough for you, I would love to win a chance to read one of her books!
The Twilight Series. My daughter talked me into starting them... slow at first... then I COULD not put them down... until they were all four done... now, I am lost. AND I want to soar at lightening speeds while I run! Dang it!
Oh dear, I can't remember the names of my shameful books. My grannie gave me two called Nurse Jan's Troubled Loves and Walk Softly Doctor.
Ugh. I'm such a Nicholas Sparks fan. All of his stuff is so predictable and it's almost the same story over and over again, but I can't help it. Every time he comes out with a new book, I'm the first in line to get it.
I did read one Danielle Steel book. Ironically, it was on the plane on my way to Little Rock. I don't even remember what the title was, but I remember blushing all the way from Orlando to Little Rock and then feeling like I might not be able to wear white when I got married. That was the end of Danielle Steel for me. Nicholas Sparks is just much more tame.
But now, I'm married and have had two children, so the cat's pretty much out of the bag and I might be able to through one of her novels without my ears turning red, so count me in!
PS. Your list of romance novel myths had me laughing so hard my hubby actually looked up from his basketball game to make sure I hadn't lost my mind.
My absolute favorite books are the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. Sometimes they're sexy and they are always funny! It's a great combination!
Danielle Steel is great for a summertime read but I really liked your little book better!
Sophie Kinsella/Madeline Wickham books all the way. But, the book I am loving this summer is The Sparrow. Total page turner, and you don't even have to feel guilty about it. It is lit-er-a-ture.
I've never read Danielle Steel, but anything by Nora Roberts is right up my ally. I've also gotten into the Janet Evanovich craze. That woman is hilarious!
I love your "in real life" descriptions! :) I've never read Danielle Steel. Right now I'm eagerly awaiting the new release from one of my favs, Dorothea Benton Frank. Return to Sullivan's Island is coming out the end of this month. Southern chick lit for sure!
will you believe i have never read a Danielle book?! so, i am just finishing the last twilight series book, so i will need a good book to start.
xo
Ooo, fun! I've never read a Danielle Steele cover to cover, however, I vaguely remember skimming through one in high school to the dirty parts whilst I was babysitting. I could probably use a book like this right about now, in my thirty-something-fourteenth-wedding-anniversary-summer I'm having. Fingers crossed!!
Oh, I almost forot, my steamy read is: "The Scandalous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc" by Loraine Dupres.
Ok, I LOVE Danielle Steele! I read my first one at 14 and havent stopped since then! I think seriously, SHE is my favorite summer read.
Sadly enough, the only books I have read this summer are college textbooks-I am going back to school at 34-YIKES!
I havn't read one of her books in a while but I confess there are a few on my book shelf. I loved your comparisons, they cracked me up, its so true too, but don't we just eat it up. Those books do remind me of summery lazy days. I use to read a lot of Alice Hoffman, also Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers is always a good one.
No thank you for your offer but I had a real good laugh while reading your list. Thank you!
As you can see from recent book reviews on my blog, I *love* cheesy romance novels. That said, they have to be historic romance. If there are earls, viscounts, dukes, highland warriors, clan chiefs, I am so there! I recently read two books by a woman named Mary Balogh that I actually thought were (1) a good story and (2) written well. I didn't want them to end.
That is hilarious and oh so true. What the hey...throw my name in the pot.
I'll put a Emily Bronte book cover on it...
I'm right there with you Liz LOL I love a good Danielle Steel book, my favorite being Palomino. I also like Jackie Collins, but those are a little more trashy and dirty ;)
rue
Oh I LOVE her books on the occasion I really need something to transport me out of my dull world and make me believe romance still exists, however impossible it may be! But no, I wouldn't admit that to just anyone!
Hi, liz,, I love Danielle Steel,, Am i too late to enter? If I am, Oh well, Have a great week?
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